I did have a post planned for today but it’s been one of those days where nothing seems to work how I wanted. Everything hurts when I move, but I really feel like I wanted to do something, like my brain thinks I’m better than my body is letting me be.
I know it’s my fault for doing a lot of my degree work late and spending all my energy on it. I’ve ended up spending the past day pretty much in bed watching Cougar Town (still love that show) and my brain has turned to fluff so it’ll have to be posted next week. I just felt like I wanted to post something even if it’s a totally pointless post just saying there won’t be much of a post today.
I ended up doing quite a bit of the assignment for my degree due in on Tuesday towards the end which really does not work well with ME. For some reason my brain seems to work best close to a deadline which means I end up doing a lot last minute. I have tried the pacing and getting it done earlier but it never really works out and I end up getting worse marks than late night work so I spend the last few days finishing it off and send it off at midnight the day before it’s due which really isn’t great for my ME but works for my grades. In the end I only have one more big assignment for my degree so I’ll put up with it.
I guess this is where I say do as I say not as I do right? There are just days where it’s worth the suffering after to get whatever it is done. It’s just hard to see how worth it it is when you actually feel too exhausted and achey to get dressed. I know I’m still better than I was this time four or five years ago but days like this just remind e exactly how much it’s affecting my life and how much it’s stopping me from doing things and it’s just so frustrating even though it’s completely my fault.
Is there anything you guys do that affects you after but really seems like it’s worth it in the long term? There have been a few times where I’ve gone on a family holiday and ended up in bed for a week after or going to a family even and felt so bad but it’s normally worth it in the end even if I do feel so rubbish at the time as they’re the once in a lifetime things. I probably miss just as many as I go to though, I’ve had to pull out of family meet ups the day before quite a few times which is normally the right decision but almost feels worse than the ME affects you get afterwards. Not sure if that even makes sense.
I’m hoping this post makes sense, I’m sure I had something else that I wanted to say but I can’t remember what it is, brain fog strikes again. I may end up editing this post again if I remember it.
Hope you’re all as well as possible.